Today was hard.

I spent time with a family who had just lost someone they loved deeply, totally unexpectedly. A husband, a father, a son, a nephew, and a friend. They were lost in their sorrow, not able to answer many of the questions I asked about his life. Not sure what to do or where to start.

Coming home, I still felt the weight of their sorrow. My neighbor is in the final stages of life, and my husband's uncle is very ill. It seems like mortality is all around me right now, making it painfully clear how important it is to plan for the inevitable.

Talking about death isn't easy, but it's something we need to do for the sake of those we love. When we're gone, our loved ones will be grieving, so the last thing they need is the added stress of figuring out what to do next. By planning our own funerals in advance, we can ease some of that burden for them.

Think about it: What happens after you’re gone? Who will tell your story? Your loved ones, consumed by their grief, might struggle to capture your essence or remember all the important details. By planning your funeral, you can help ensure that your story is told the way you want it to be.

Does your family know what your final wishes are? Do you want to be kept on life support? Are you an organ donor? Do you want to be buried or cremated? These are deeply personal choices, and it's important to think them through carefully.

Gathering your important information is crucial. This includes legal documents, financial accounts, insurance policies, and any other important papers. Keep them organized in a safe place where your loved ones can easily find them. Make sure they know where to look and what you've arranged.

Next, think about how you want your farewell to be. What kind of ceremony reflects who you are? Do you want a traditional religious service, a personalized secular funeral, a celebration of life, or something that’s distinctly you? Consider different cultural practices, music, readings, and rituals that are meaningful to you. By making these decisions now, you take some of the pressure off your family when the time comes.

One of my closest friends wants a totally inappropriate, totally “her” song to be played while everyone gets up and dances around like fools. Another wants an altar placed near the urn with her photo, a Buddha, and candles, flowers, fruit, and incense. It’s those personal touches that make a farewell special.

Luckily, you don’t have to do this alone. Funeral homes and Funeral celebrants are there to help you. They have the experience and compassion to guide you through the process. They can help with the legal stuff, offer suggestions, and make sure your wishes are respected.

By pre-planning your funeral, you give your loved ones the gift of time to grieve and heal.

You allow them to focus on celebrating your life and the memories you shared.

Your story, told in your own words, will be part of your eulogy, allowing a stranger to share your life with those who gather to remember you.

Let's face our mortality with grace and compassion. Planning our own funerals isn't morbid—it's an act of love and consideration for those we care about. It's a way to make sure our farewell reflects our values, beliefs, and the impact we've had on others. It shows our love to those we love.

In the end, pre-planning a funeral is a reminder that life is fleeting and every moment is precious. Let's take the opportunity to shape our final chapter and leave a legacy that our loved ones will cherish for generations to come.